Child arrangements mediation

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Child arrangements mediation helps separated parents work through the practical decisions that keep a child’s week functioning across two homes.

The discussion can cover where the child lives, time with each parent, holidays, handovers, school, communication and the changes that become necessary as the child grows.

The mediator does not decide the arrangement for you. The process is there to help each parent understand the issues, test proposals and make their own decisions where agreement is possible.

The questions that usually need an answer

A child arrangements session may need to deal with:

• the normal school week;
• weekends and overnight stays;
• school holidays and half terms;
• Christmas, Eid, birthdays, family occasions and other important dates relevant to the family;
• travel and collection arrangements;
• school and medical information;
• telephone or video contact when a child is away from one parent;
• communication between parents;
• introducing changes as the child becomes older;
• what happens when work, school or family circumstances change.

The purpose is not to create a long legal document. It is to make the arrangements clear enough that each parent knows what is meant in ordinary situations.

Start with a MIAM, not a joint argument

Each person attends their own MIAM first. This is where the mediator learns about the family, any court history, safety concerns, the communication between parents and the issues needing a decision.

If mediation is suitable and each person wants to continue, the mediator then arranges the mediation format.

Joint or shuttle mediation

A shared room is not the only model.

In shuttle mediation, each person stays separate and the mediator moves between them. This can give a more structured route where direct conversation is not productive or not appropriate. It does not mean every high-conflict case is suitable for mediation; the mediator still has to assess the case individually.

When contact has stopped

A parent may arrive saying, “I am not being allowed to see my child.” The other parent may have concerns that are not contained in that first sentence.

The mediator does not begin by deciding who is right. The separate MIAMs are used to understand what each person says has happened, consider safety and then decide if mediation can provide a useful process. Where abuse is part of that picture, domestic abuse and mediation sets out how it is handled.

If it can, the discussion may explore the practical concerns, the child’s routine and proposals for contact. In some cases a staged arrangement may be considered. In others, mediation may not be appropriate and legal advice or court directions may be needed.

Parenting plans

If you reach clear arrangements, they can be recorded in a parenting plan. This can cover the normal routine, holidays, handovers, communication and how the plan will be reviewed.

A parenting plan is not automatically a court order. If you need advice about making arrangements legally binding, obtain independent legal advice.

The child’s voice

Children should not be used as messengers between parents. Their views and day-to-day needs still matter.

Cafcass provides resources to help parents think about a child’s age, routines, activities and wishes. Child-inclusive mediation gives a child of about ten or older a separate, confidential conversation with a mediator trained for it, and lets the child decide what is passed back. A colleague who is trained in child-inclusive mediation can do this; ask at your MIAM and we will explain how it is arranged.

C100 and mediation

If you are preparing a C100 application, the current rules normally require MIAM attendance first unless an exemption applies. The court can also encourage non-court dispute resolution during proceedings. Our guide to what a child arrangements order is explains the court route in full, from the MIAM to the final hearing.

A MIAM is not an agreement to mediate. It is the first private meeting in which the options and suitability can be considered properly. See the MIAM certificate.

Funding through the Family Mediation Voucher

Eligible child-related cases can receive a Government contribution of up to £500 towards mediation sessions. The voucher does not pay for the MIAM.

Sources and further reading

• GOV.UK – child arrangements and mediation
• Practice Direction 12B – Child Arrangements Programme
• Family Procedure Rules, Part 3