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British-German families are common, bilingual children more so, and the distance is short enough that real shared arrangements are possible.
British families in Germany are often there for work or through the services, and British-German couples are common enough that bilingual children and two sets of family expectations are the norm rather than the exception.
The distance is short and the flights are frequent, which makes genuinely shared arrangements possible. What usually needs care is the school calendar - German holidays are staggered by Land and differ from the English pattern – and making sure both languages stay part of the children's lives.
Situations we are asked about
- Parents living in different countries after a posting or a job move.
- Bilingual children, and decisions about schooling in either country.
- German and English property, pensions or savings.
- An English divorce with financial connections to Germany.
Money and property in two countries
German pensions and property can be discussed in mediation. The German pension system works quite differently from the English one, and how the two interact in a financial settlement is a matter for legal and pension advice in both countries.
If a child is taken or kept without agreement
Germany ratified the 1980 Child Abduction Convention in 1990 and the 1996 Child Protection Convention in 2010, and both are in force between Germany and the United Kingdom.
This is a summary, not advice, and the exceptions and detail matter enormously. Our guide to the Hague Conventions explains how they work. If a child has already been taken or is not being returned, take specialist legal advice immediately – mediation must never delay that.
School years and holidays
German school holidays are set by each Land and deliberately staggered across the country, so Bavaria and Berlin break at different times, and the summer holiday is around six weeks rather than England's six to seven with different start dates. The dates are published well ahead, which makes planning easier than it sounds.
Travel, distance and contact
One to two hours in the air, frequent flights, and only an hour's time difference. Germany is among the easiest countries on this list for a genuinely shared arrangement, including regular weekends where both households can manage the travel.
Language and timing
Mediation is held in English. Interpreters are arranged for German where they are needed. Much of this site can also be read and listened to in six other languages.
Germany is currently 1 hour ahead of the UK, so sessions are arranged for a time that works in both places. Appointment times are agreed with each of you beforehand.
How this would work
Everything is held online. Each of you meets the mediator separately first – that is the MIAM, and it is where suitability is assessed, including whether an English mediator is right for your situation at all. After that, joint sessions are arranged at a time that works in both countries, or as shuttle sessions where being in the same call is not right.
A MIAM matters only if a case in England and Wales is possible; a MIAM certificate carries no weight before a foreign court. Mediation cannot decide which country has authority, cannot give legal advice, and what you agree is not enforceable until a lawyer makes it so – so independent advice, usually in both countries, runs alongside.
Where there has been abuse or controlling behaviour, mediation may not be suitable at all: see domestic abuse and mediation.
Fees: a MIAM is £125 per person and joint sessions £180 per person – full fees. The Government voucher and Legal Aid have eligibility rules most families living abroad will not meet; it is checked individually, never assumed.
Not sure an English mediator is the right choice? That is what the free chat is for. If a mediator in your own country would serve you better, we will say so.
Questions we are asked
Which country should deal with our divorce?
That depends on where each of you lives and your connections to each country, and it is a legal question rather than a mediation one. It is worth getting advice early, because in some situations where the case starts matters.
Can arrangements work with children in different countries?
Often, yes – the distance is manageable and many families share holidays and half terms. What matters is that the plan is realistic about travel, cost and who does the journey.
Sources
- HCCH – status table, 1980 Child Abduction Convention
- HCCH – status table, 1996 Child Protection Convention
- GOV.UK – international parental child abduction
Treaty status and official guidance checked on 27 September 2026.
This page is general information about family mediation. It is not legal advice about your own situation. Whether a court in England and Wales can deal with your case is a legal question, and it needs advice here and in Germany.