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Transatlantic families separate like any other, but with an added complication: American family law is made state by state, not nationally.
Transatlantic families are common enough that the practical problems are familiar: a job that moved one parent to New York or California, children who have dual nationality and two sets of grandparents, and a school year and holiday pattern that only partly overlap.
One thing to understand early is that there is no single American family law. Divorce, custody and property are matters for each state, and what applies in New York is not what applies in California or Texas. Any legal advice you take needs to come from a lawyer in the particular state involved.
Situations we are asked about
- One parent relocating to the United States for work while the children remain in England, or move with them.
- Dividing holidays between two school calendars, and the cost of transatlantic flights.
- Property, retirement accounts or savings held in both countries.
- A US marriage or divorce and questions about what it means here.
Money and property in two countries
Retirement accounts, property and investments in the United States can be discussed. How they would be treated in an English case, and what any English order could achieve against an American institution, are questions for lawyers on both sides – and the answer often differs by state.
If a child is taken or kept without agreement
The United States is a party to the 1980 Child Abduction Convention, which has been in force between it and the United Kingdom since 1988. It signed the 1996 Child Protection Convention in 2010 but has not ratified it, so that convention is not in force between the two countries.
This is a summary, not advice, and the exceptions and detail matter enormously. Our guide to the Hague Conventions explains how they work. If a child has already been taken or is not being returned, take specialist legal advice immediately – mediation must never delay that.
School years and holidays
American school years vary by district but generally run from late August to late May or June, with a long summer and a short spring break. The English and American calendars overlap enough in summer to allow a substantial block, but Easter and half term rarely line up.
Travel, distance and contact
Five to eleven hours in the air depending on the coast, and a time difference of five hours to New York or eight to California. East coast visits are manageable in a school holiday; west coast ones realistically need longer blocks and fewer of them.
Language and timing
Mediation is held in English. Much of this site can also be read and listened to in six other languages.
The United States is currently 5 hours behind the UK, so sessions are arranged for a time that works in both places. Appointment times are agreed with each of you beforehand.
How this would work
Everything is held online. Each of you meets the mediator separately first – that is the MIAM, and it is where suitability is assessed, including whether an English mediator is right for your situation at all. After that, joint sessions are arranged at a time that works in both countries, or as shuttle sessions where being in the same call is not right.
A MIAM matters only if a case in England and Wales is possible; a MIAM certificate carries no weight before a foreign court. Mediation cannot decide which country has authority, cannot give legal advice, and what you agree is not enforceable until a lawyer makes it so – so independent advice, usually in both countries, runs alongside.
Where there has been abuse or controlling behaviour, mediation may not be suitable at all: see domestic abuse and mediation.
Fees: a MIAM is £125 per person and joint sessions £180 per person – full fees. The Government voucher and Legal Aid have eligibility rules most families living abroad will not meet; it is checked individually, never assumed.
Not sure an English mediator is the right choice? That is what the free chat is for. If a mediator in your own country would serve you better, we will say so.
Questions we are asked
Does it matter which state we are in?
For the legal questions, very much. Family law is state law in the United States, so advice has to come from a lawyer in your state. For mediation about the practical arrangements, it matters less – though the timing of sessions across time zones does.
Can an English mediated agreement be used in an American court?
Not automatically. An agreement reached in mediation is not a court order anywhere, and what weight it carries in a particular state is a question for a lawyer there.
Sources
- HCCH – status table, 1980 Child Abduction Convention
- HCCH – status table, 1996 Child Protection Convention
- GOV.UK – international parental child abduction
Treaty status and official guidance checked on 27 September 2026.
This page is general information about family mediation. It is not legal advice about your own situation. Whether a court in England and Wales can deal with your case is a legal question, and it needs advice here and in the United States.