What happens at a MIAM

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A MIAM lasts 45 to 60 minutes. You attend on your own. Nothing is decided, and you are not committed to anything by coming.

What the letters stand for

Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. Information, because we explain what mediation would involve. Assessment, because we are working out whether it is likely to help in your situation, and whether it is safe.

Most people arrive thinking it is a formality to get a form signed. It is a real meeting, and for a good number of people it is the first time anyone has sat down and gone through the options properly.

The order it runs in

1. The mediator explains what mediation is and what their role is
2. You explain your situation and what needs deciding
3. The mediator looks at whether mediation is suitable and safe for your circumstances
4. You are told about the other options and what each would involve
5. Practical matters: fees, how sessions work, the certificate if you need it

It rarely runs that tidily. Most of the meeting is the second and third points, and if you need longer on something we spend longer on it.

What we will ask you

Roughly: what has happened, what needs sorting out, what you have already tried, and whether there is anything about the other person or the situation that would make sitting down together difficult or unsafe.

That last question is asked of everybody. It is not an accusation and it is not a test. It is asked because mediation is the wrong route for some situations, and finding that out at this stage rather than later is part of the job.

What you can ask us

Anything about the process. How many sessions it is likely to take, what happens if the other person refuses, what the paperwork at the end actually does, what it will cost in total.

What we cannot do is tell you what you should accept, or what a court would decide. A mediator is not permitted to advise either person – that is what makes it possible to be impartial, and it is why people usually have a solicitor alongside mediation rather than instead of it.

Is it confidential?

Yes, subject to limited exceptions required by law or professional safeguarding duties. The mediator explains those limits at the start of the meeting.

The other person does not hear what you said. They attend their own separate MIAM, and what you told us is not passed on to them, subject to the confidentiality limits we explain at the meeting (for example where somebody is at risk of harm).

What to bring

Nothing. If you are working to a court deadline, have the date to hand.

If you want to get more out of the hour, jot down the two or three things that matter most to you before you come. Not a case, not a history – just what you actually want to have sorted. People often find that harder to answer than they expect, and it is a useful thing to have thought about.

What happens afterwards

If mediation looks workable, the other person is invited to their own MIAM. If it does not, you can be issued with a certificate.

You are under no obligation to continue. Some people attend, decide mediation is not for them, take the certificate and go to court. That is a legitimate outcome of the meeting, not a failure of it.

What if I am not sure I want to be here?

A lot of people are not. Some come because a solicitor told them to, some because a form asks for it, and some because they have run out of other ideas.

You do not need to arrive convinced. Come, find out what it involves, and decide afterwards.